There is only so much one can do for a woman who is being abused. - It so long but if you can read it pls do

SHAME on every pastor, women's fellowship leader, 'prayer warrior', and pastor's wife who has helped to emotionally bamboozle anyone into staying in an abusive marriage. You are so quick to claim "God hates divorce". Does your 'god' love it when women are abused? You criticise and demonise those who have the courage to walk away, to boost your numbers and your ego. So that you can claim "there is no divorce in our church". Shame on you with your hardened hearts, you do not know God. Your 'god' is your stomach and your ego.

For parents whose children have the courage to tell them of the violence in their marriages, the reality is you will end up burying your children. It is not a curse. It is not something you can wish away by claiming "my god will not let it happen." People - other people's children - die everyday. Why do you think your case is different? Especially when "what will people say?" is more important to you than the wellbeing of the child you raised? SHAME ON YOU. 

You bore that child for at least 9months, you raised them. Then you sit back mute and impotent, while someone else takes advantage of them - so that you can claim "we are virtuous women in our family, we make our marriages work". No matter how many activists, lawyers, church members, and others come to mourn with you at the graveside of your child; you'll hurt for the rest of their life. They won't feel it, you will. You are the one who'll feed on the guilt of pushing your precious child to their death, and go to bed every night wondering "What if?" You. Nobody else.

For the women who keep deluding themselves, when they are in abusive situations. You somehow think death as a result of abuse, is something that happens to 'others'. Are you really that arrogant, or just plain stupid? A man is battering you, and you keep believing the abuse will not result in your demise, because 'you serve a god of impossibilities'. There is a 99% chance that you will die. Someone else will raise your kids, and chances are your children will suffer. It is really that simple. God gave you a brain; it's not his fault if you decide not to use it. For those of you who think a man goes to church and speaks in tongues, so it doesn't matter if he beats you because he is a 'child of god' and 'god said' you should marry him, good luck. You cannot have offended God so badly that the only punishment He is satisfied with, is having you marry an abusive monster. Get some self-respect. You should NEVER allow anyone to put you in a position where you feel you are nothing without a man, even if it is a mad man.

This is an account of the heartbreak of a father. A man who raised his child, handed that child over to a monster, and sat back to watch the monster destroy his child. This didn't even take place in some tiny African village. 

Oration at the Grave-side of Late Yetunde Omodolapo Olotu-Jagha on June 14,2013 in Dublin,Ireland by her father.
Posted on June 15, 2013 by vickierobert Standard

It is indeed agonizing to write this story; it is about our beloved daughter Yetunde Omodolapo Olotu Jagha, she had a happy and enviable childhood, committed parents, a dream secondary school, her dream university and graduated a truthful, fulfilled, Christ- loving adult.

1.Yetunde Omodolapo had just gained an admission into the federal University of Technology, Akure, Nigeriafor a master degree program when suddenly she brought Mr.Noble Oritsemeyin Jagha(Oti) for marriage. It was marriage or nothing as they had agreed to suspend that admission for another year which never materialized.

2. The entire (Idano) betrothal obligation that was expected to be provided by the husband’s family according to Yoruba tradition was not provided. We bore the cost of these betrothal obligations: the entertainment at the engagement ceremony and the after-marriage party. This was done in good faith just as we accepted the husband in all sincerity not minding his financial status. We took him as a son.
   
   3. Not long after the birth of their first child, news started filtering to my wife and I that Oti as the husband was fondly called stayed out late and had at some stages beat his wife even with belt. “I wonder why my daughter had to undergo this brutish act, despite the fact that she was betrothed to him a virgin; a virtuous woman she was!
   
   4. In this quest my daughter departed to Dublin, he continued in his night crawling; leaving their little child alone all the time. He was also involved in loads of unhealthy relationship with strange women. This information became known to through his driver when my wife and I stayed a night in his house while he was said to have traveled. He even brought home women laundry. We did not inform our daughter about this discovery because we wanted to save their marriage which was at the verge of dissolution. Hence, we encouraged Oti to join his wife.
   
   5 The first sign of financial unreliability we experienced from Mr. Jagha was when my wife’s nephew who lived in London sent Oti some money to be deposited into his bank account in a bank where Oti worked in Ibadan,Nigeria. Up till date, the money has not been recovered from him.
   
   6 Then came his involvement in fraud which led to his flee from Nigeria. My wife also loaned him an amount of N1.2 million to repay his debt but he did not. Instead, he used the money as fare to flee Nigeria to London while he abandoned the entire family belongings. The Criminal Investigative Department officers that were laying siege on their home were subsequently led to us in Akure from Ibadan by his office driver with a view to apprehending me. This great loss of assets and dignity was another reason our late daughter became fed up with the unwholesome corrupt life style of this ignoble Oti as a husband. But after his pressure on us by incessant telephone calls and the fact that their innocent first, nursery age child was with him, also suffering in London, we persuaded our daughter to allow him join her in Dublin hoping that he would change for the better. Unfortunately, he never changed, he proved correct the Yoruba adage which says “the character of a man never leaves him because it is in- borne.” He started his ignoble life style; fighting his wife over allowances from government that was meant for the children’s maintenance, the wife’s earnings from her daily toils, and his free life style. Rather than pick up a job to join in the maintenance of the family, he prefers to loiter the street in quest for flings and speaking on the phone for hours with women.
   
   7 He finally made his wife to have another pregnancy that gave them the twin baby girls for which reason the stone- hearted husband abandoned the wife in the hospital because none of the twins is a male child. From that time, he boasted to me several times on telephone, that he must have a male child from any other source. He hated the idea of our daughter not having a male child, he blamed and frustrated her for it even unto death. I pleaded with him that countries like Britain, Germany, India, Liberia etc had females as head of governments of their countries but this meant nothing to his resolute decision.
   
   8. Jagha was accused severally of having affairs with married women in the church whose husbands in return made dolapo’s life a living hell sending her texts and emails of curses and of threatening nature coupled with what she was facing at home and having to work 6 days a week to maintain the whole family, not long after, our daughter was diagnosed of breast cancer. According to Mr. Jagha, he knew when the attack (Satanic Arrow) was sent to him and the wife but he dodged it while his wife could not. He did not agree with the wife to see a doctor when the lump was initially found and disagreed it should be removed when advised by doctors. He insisted on prayer alone and our daughter succumbed to his wicked advice wanting to be obedient. However when it worsened she had to be hospitalized. The husband‘s main concern all the time had not always been the health of the wife but to extort money for his free life style, even though he refused to take up any Job. The wife finally had to approach the court for a safety and protection order/ judicial separation when she could no longer bear the physical and mental abuse she suffered in the hands of Oti. The church persuaded our daughter to withdraw any legal action which she did in obedience. The church claimed that Oti resolved to be of good behavior and pleaded return back to their home which he had abandoned with the family car so that dolapo had to trek with the children to school in bad weather while under treatment until her condition grew worse, he was never supportive despite all appeal to him from quarters including his wife until she was moved to the hospice.
   
   9. From the Yoruba perspective, it should be inferred that the so-called arrow of cancer was Oti’s diabolic act. So that once the wife was eliminated; he would be free to marry another wife as permitted by Christian faith, he had promised a certain lady in the church he was having an affair with that he would marry her when his wife dies, this was revealed to dolapo by the lady’s friends. It may surprise you that this man is a “PASTOR.” One is therefore surprised that such an ignoble Mr. Noble Jagha could be appointed a Pastor of that reputable church in which he worships even against his wife’s plea that he needed to change, grow and restitute (she was ignored). As the father of late Yetunde Omodolapo, it is my conclusion that her husband was responsible for her untimely cruel death; out of demonic acts and charms, long drawn oppression and neglect even on her final sick bed.
   Oti was the primary killer while cancer was just a secondary cause of death, and why is this not a surprise for someone who tried to kill his own blood sister. Throughout the time she was hospitalized her friends and church members drew a 24hrs roaster to take turns in taking care of her. The husband turned up once in a while to see if she was still breathing and urges her to transfer money to his account every week. He stole her bank card at the hospital and robbed her a sum of One thousand Euros plus and transferred money from the deceased’s account to an unknown account of a man in Athlone (An elder in the church whom we gathered he owes) and also fuelled his car and enjoyed the luxury of our daughters stipend in company of her girlfriends in Athlone on the grounds that he was getting paid for looking after his own children. We reliably gathered that on the day our daughter died, her estranged husband’s first concern was seizure of the death certificate and the approach of her late wife’s office for information of how to collect her terminal retirement financial benefits. How dare you lay claim on the benefit of a woman you cruelly hated and sent to her early grave, and whose corpse was yet to be buried? This is unacceptable Mr Jagha!
   
   10. When Mr. Jagha arrived Dublin, I advised him to engage himself in a meaningful employment from which he would be able to earn good money from which he could repay and restitute the embezzled money from the bank and become a free man rather than hide in Europe. He bluntly refused; the image of a wanted criminal meant nothing to him.
   
   11. One could see, therefore, why late Yetunde could never be comfortable with a man without a conscience. A man who chose to cover his slothful, ignoble, secret and sinful life style with the title of a “PASTOR”. This accounts for his hidden agenda to eliminate his wife for not bearing a male child.
   
   12 Mr. Noble Oritsetimeyin Jagha boasted several times that he would assemble his prayer warriors and hold vigils to hasten her death; no wonder my daughter was not shocked when she saw the prayer points in Noble Jagha’s purse which he forgot at the hospice while he came to ask for money from the wife as usual; the prayer-point stated that God should strike Yetunde’s heart and that she should do no other thing except what he (Jagha) orders her to do. Little wonder, if this is the ideal prayer that a dying woman required on her sick bed. When she even pleaded with her husband to pray for her, he bluntly refused.
   On the night before the death of my daughter, while my daughter could hardly speak, he was in another bout of accusations about who said what about who reported to the child-protection agency that he left the kids at home for two days on a row to go to school and sleep all by themselves while he visited his concubine in Athlone while Yetunde was at the hospice. Now that she is dead, how then, can Mr. Noble Jagha suddenly develop sincere love and concern for these innocent female children after the death of their mother? We are aware that you see them as your meal ticket/money bag and nothing else…….
   The wicked shall not go unpunished therefore; a so-called pastor who has not a fruit of the spirit to show for the prayer power he claims to demonstrate is another Elymasthe sorcerer and shall disappear into hell suddenly as such at God’s appointed time. Therefore, no one seeking the true God, and therefore true success, true prosperity here on earth, and eternal life for that matter, should worship under such a pastor regardless of what powers of prayer he demonstrates (Matt 7 -21-23). God’s word stand for ever “Surely the wicked shall be caught in his own craftiness; he shall not go scot-free.
   
   13 As our daughter is interred into her eternal rest, all parents, friends, on lookers must strive hard that their children, and relations do not fall into the nets of the satanic wicked spouse. Christian churches of the living God should strive hard that they do not hire pastors like the ignoble; Satan- possessed Mr. Noble Jagha that will send their innocent worshippers into eternal doom.
   Yetunde, my beloved daughter, rest in perfect peace, in the bosom of the living God of vengeance till we meet to part no more.
   Source: Dare Lasisi - See more at: http://esabod.blogspot.co.uk/2013/06/my-husband-killed-me.html#.UcIB6uesiSp
   Thanks to 92.3 Inspiration FM Family Network.