I can't resist sex with best pal, even though he's gay

I AM female and my best friend is a gay guy, but we had sex recently and now we can’t keep our hands off one another.

I am a 20-year-old student and last year met this guy in the uni bar. He’s 21 and we hit it off and he came clean that he was gay. Only I knew and have been totally supportive, especially since he broke up with his long term boyfriend back home.

We are best of friends, hang out together all the time, go shopping, tell one another everything and have no secrets. We have also always been quite flirty and people comment on our chemistry.

A few months ago a room came free in my house so he moved in. We often stay up all night in his or my room, chatting and listening to music. Term’s over but we are both staying on to work during the vacation.

Last week we had the house to ourselves, we watched a movie, had a bit to drink, and ended up having sex. It has happened a few times since and whenever we’re alone we kiss passionately.

We have chatted and he insists he still likes guys, but says he has been thinking about us for the past month. We don’t want things to get complicated or to lose our friendship, so we are not ready to come clean to everyone. Some friends and family might be judgmental plus our whole situation is confusing enough already.

DEIDRE SAYS

Be wary of carrying on having sex with him on this sort of FWB basis. Many people – women especially - find they can’t keep having sex with someone without beginning to fall for them. 

You could get hurt if he decides this has been a sideline and he’s back into guys.

He’s not unusual in having bisexual feelings but don’t overlook your own needs. If you want fidelity in a sexual partner, be firm about that. Give him a couple of weeks to decide where he’s at but if he then doesn’t offer you a faithful relationship out in the open, stop having sex with him and try to go back to being just friends. It won’t be easy but a whole lot better than heading for heartbreak.

It's obvious this lady doesn't know what she really wants and I won't be surprised if she ends up being hurt eventually. Being ignorant is one thing, but being stupid is another. This relationship has no beginning and no end, the young man is the only true benefactor.