Lover's wife caught us in the act... now he's left me

MY lover’s wife caught us having sex in his car so now he’s ended our affair, but he’s always been the one for me.

We were childhood sweethearts and lost our virginities to each other at 17. We’re both now 31.

I am divorced with two little girls. There was always something about my first - I never even loved my children’s dad the way I loved my first boyfriend.

We were both friends with an old classmate from school on Facebook and when we made the connection, we got in touch.

I thought nothing of it at first – it was nice to hear from him and I thought he was doing well with his girlfriend and three kids. Then he messaged me one night and asked whether I’d meet him.

My heart was racing when the evening came. We met in a bar and all those feelings came flooding back. He told me he was unhappy in his relationship and went through everything that had happened since we split up as teenagers.

He said he still had feelings for me and I had to admit I felt the same. We started an affair. We were so happy and the sex was rapturous. I fell deeply in love and he said he did too.

Everything was great, until one night we were having sex in the back of his car parked up off a quiet lane when suddenly we were flooded with light from another car’s headlights.

Then his wife was hammering on the car window and screaming at us. She’d been suspicious, hacked his laptop, read our emails and guessed where we’d be – he’d taken her there when they were courting.

She’s told him that if he leaves her for me, she’ll take the kids and he’ll never see them. I’ve kept out of it but I’m stuck in limbo now wondering what to do. I love him so much.

DEIDRE SAYS

I know he’s special to you but risking losing contact with his children is a grim price for him to pay – and even if he really cares for you he may decide it’s too high.

If he contacts you, tell him how strongly you feel and ask what he plans, but don’t hang around indefinitely. If his girlfriend and children are the bigger pull for him then you’ll have to accept that.

But make sure he understands he has parental rights if his name is on his children’s birth certificates. 

Nice advice but what was she thinking? Secret sin is always sweet until you are caught. Then pain kicks in.