Drug-user boyfriend blows hot and cold - Relationship issues

MY boyfriend says he loves me but the next minute he says I’m an embarrassment.

I’m 16, he’s 19 and we’ve been together a year. I knew from the start that he used drugs but I thought he’d stop once he had a good relationship.

How wrong was that? All he thinks and talks about is drugs, and one minute he’s saying he wants to be with me forever, that I’m everything he wants, then the next he’s saying that I’m not the right girl.

He tells me that I’m too full-on and clingy, but he’s always the one who gets in touch with me and asks me to go round to his house. He never comes round to mine.

He tells me how much he is attracted to me then in the next breath he says he doesn’t like the way I look and that I’m an embarrassment.

We have split up loads of times and he’s always the one who calls me and wants me back.

He promised he’d stop taking drugs but he hasn’t. I spend most of my time upset about this and wishing he’d stop before something bad happens.

I don’t want to lose him as a boyfriend but all this is becoming too much.

DEIDRE SAYS

If he really wants to stop using drugs, there is help out there for him but he has to want this for himself and accept that he needs help.

Don’t accept his random insults. It’s only getting you down and letting him think you’ll carry on taking it. Give it to him straight that you can’t carry on accepting his erratic behaviour and that he will be history if he doesn’t get help.

I hope he’ll see sense but don’t let him drag you down with him

Great advise. Just wanted to add that, marriage doesn't change people, in fact, it makes them more relaxed with who they already are. So bad remains bad and could even get worst. Though there are some exceptions as with all things but don't bank on that.

Secondly, don't stay in a relationship where someone keeps insulting you. What you hear affects you. Ask them to stop, if they don't, move on. Words become actions. Insults soon becomes physical abuse.