I’m torn between lover and hurting my three sons - Relationship issues

MY WIFE wants a fairy tale ending, where we’ll live happily ever after but then I’d lose the woman who’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

I’m 34, married with three lovely sons. My wife’s 32. We’ve been married 12 years. Things started to go wrong nine years ago but we plodded on.

Then a new woman started at my work. She’s 30. I’m her manager and had to train her for the job. It wasn’t long before we were talking more and more. I told her my marriage was dead in the water. She really understood where I was coming from, because she’s divorced.

We discovered we had a lot more in common than we thought and feelings grew stronger and stronger between us.

We became lovers and the sex was a magical – a totally different experience from with my wife. We realised we wanted to be together so I left my wife and moved in with my girlfriend.

I felt so guilty about leaving my sons, I went back home after six weeks, but then I missed my girlfriend so much, I returned to her. I have been backwards and forwards between my wife and my girlfriend for the last two years

Last week my girlfriend said she’d had enough. She told me to leave and not come back unless it is for keeps. I’m back at home and wish I could make it work. I appreciate all my wife has done for me but I don’t love her any more. My feelings for her have gone for good.

I’m starting to resent my wife and I want my girlfriend back so much it hurts. She is my soulmate but I just can’t get over my guilt at leaving my sons.

DEIDRE SAYS

Going to and fro like this is more damaging for your sons than if you’d made the break and stuck with it but made firm arrangements to spend lots of time with them.

If you are sure your love for your wife has gone, it’s not good for your boys either to grow up with all the tensions that must involve. And it’s not fair to keep giving your wife false hope. Set her free to find someone new who truly wants her.

You can still be a loving, caring father. Organise good contact with your sons and keep reassuring them they’ll be just as important to you as ever.

Culled from the The Sun.

Great advise. Can't say more.