Sunday, 15 June 2014

Is Abstinence from Pre-marital Sex Really Possible? (1)

I have been inundated with the above question in the past few weeks and it’s been coming from 16-year-old girls. It is however interesting to know that I have received text messages from 20-year-olds telling me how they have stayed away from sex, including a 30-year-old who told me she was still a virgin. How nice!

Perhaps you think such ladies don’t exist. They do exist and I dare say they are beautiful. Within the next few weeks, I’ll be enlightening young girls on the true facts of sex and why it’s better for you to stay chaste.
Biologically, sex is a medium through which higher animals and plants produce their own kind, generation after generation. But for human beings, sex involves much more than this; it has other forms of psychological, sociological and spiritual effects (which will be further explained) on human lives.

Throughout history, most religions and cultures have developed moral standards for sex. For instance, the moral standard Christians have developed for sex can be traced to the Holy Bible, where sex before marriage is regarded as fornication while sex outside marriage is regarded as adultery.

These two are considered sins and they are discussed in several passages of the Bible, especially areas bordering on the virtue of a woman and man’s insatiable appetite for sex. Muslims also have their own view of sex which is very similar to that of Christians.
Many cultures all over the world have their moral standards as well. For instance, here in Nigeria, the Yoruba tribe attaches much importance to a lady’s purity.

In the past, and even till date, when a girl marries a man, as soon as the marriage rites are performed, the newly-wed couple have to go through a procedure involving sexual intercourse (behind closed doors) to the knowledge of family members, friends and well-wishers to find out whether the lady had remained a virgin till the wedding night.

These are just a few moral standards which have been developed for sex.
Today, sex is presented loosely to the society because it is a powerful force. It is used in many ways to attract attention. This is very obvious in the way of clothing of both genders. Young ladies more especially find it very easy to attract and probably seduce men in their provocative form of clothing.

Film producers, writers, magazine and newspaper publishers know that sex is sure to sell and any form of media which deals with it is sure to be very popular and in high demand. So many television advertisements now use sex appeal to attract attention to their products.

In addition to these, the rate at which sex is hawked just like any other trade is appalling. Prostitutes hang around waiting for prospective ‘customers’ and, of course, they are paid and automatically encouraged. Sex is also used as a weapon for favour-seeking.

So many times when ladies go in search of jobs, they are harassed with sex. Also, some ladies find it easier to “sleep their way to the top,” that is, allow their bosses to sleep with them in order to get promoted.
In universities and other tertiary institutions, lecturers take advantage of the female students and terrorise them when they refuse their advances. Because of this, so many lecturers fail their students until they budge.

Ironically, some girls also go as far as seducing and having sex with their lecturers all in a bid to have a boost in their grades. All these are tantamount to slavery with one’s body.

There are several other ways in which sex is exploited and this can be attributed to one of the negative effects of westernisation. For instance, on the internet, sex is discussed indiscriminately in all forms. The world is exposed to pornographic materials and the like. A child under the age of seven already knows so much about sex.

And the rate at which teenagers and even youngsters toy with it is very alarming and outrageous, and that is why an average teenager could wonder if abstinence from it is really possible.

Dear girls,
Your curiosity about sex and the way your body feels is normal. However, there’s so much you need to know which may eventually condition your mind and calm your desires. For now, DON’T dabble into it please.

Credit: Temilolu Okeowo (PUNCH News)



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